Motherhood, physical health, mental health, being a spouse, owning a business, friendships, self-care…Does it look like I’m in the circus juggling all of these acts? I mean – whew! Can a girl catch a break or no? I get asked the same question all of the time, “How do you do it all?” “How do you balance everything on your plate?” “How do you manage your time?” I do it the same way everyone does, I do it because I have to! I do not have my balancing act down pact – not even close. There are days I feel like I do better than other days. For example, if I was balanced, this blog post would have been planned for on a calendar and written weeks ago. But instead it was a mix of me editing it in the middle of the boy’s Circus Class between my mama cheers and water breaks and finishing it when I really wanted to nap. I’m not perfect, I do have some tips and tricks that I use to help me create balance in my mind, in my body, in my soul week after week. It’s not just going to come my way, I have to make it happen.
Before I get into my tips and tricks, I think it’s important for me to tell you what my top 4 priorities are in my life. George and I have 3-4 top priorities that we try to base all of our decisions around. If we focus on these essentials, it’s easier to make daily decisions (He’s the mastermind behind encouraging me to figure out my priorities in life in order to help with my decision making skills…or lack there of (I’ve been to many therapy sessions regarding decisions, but that’s for another post!)). Each decision I make, I check to see if it fits into my top 4. If it doesn’t, I make sure that my priorities are already met or they’re not going to suffer as a result of the decision at hand. Note: Priorities can change as life changes. But for now, here are mine.
- Family / Spirituality / Quality Time. This comes before everything. I have done a lot of work to make sure my family comes first. Naturally, I’m a selfish person (And, yes, that’s very hard to write). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve needed to sit back and make this list. Once I did, I realized that I want my family to come first. That’s where I’m happiest but, that also meant some other really important priorities to me need to get their asses to the back of the line. I have worked very hard at being present with my family when I’m home in the evenings and on the weekends. Putting work down until Monday and focusing on my 3 special guys makes me feel very fulfilled. We spend most weekend days together as a family, but especially Sundays. All day. We go on family adventures, or lately, we just try to slow down and stay home in our PJs where you’ll find us playing with the kids, doing chores as a family, or snuggled up watching movies. Recently, we’ve been making it a point to go to Church with my Sister-in-Law and her kids a few Saturday nights a month. The nightly service allows us to grow in our faith, have new topics of conversation where George and I learn more about each other on a deeper level, the kids see their cousins and we get to see his sister more often. Win, Win!
- Work. As the owners of three businesses combined (MDF, G Doyle Accounting and Cold Front), George and I really do make work a priority. That means that work comes after our kids and before socializing. We are growing theses businesses and have committed this decade to doing so all in hopes that our next decade can be dedicated to other things (Taking vacations?! Financial freedom?! A cabin?!). Growing our businesses is as fun as it is hard. Regardless, I consider us very lucky that we want to make our careers a priority. I love what I do, therefore, I want succeed in it. I want to dedicate the time to growing something really special for my clients that I’m proud of.
- Friendships/Alone time/ Self-Care. This priority comes even before exercise. Yes, me…putting friendships and alone time before workouts, but it’s the truth! I t h r i v e off of a night out with my friends, seeing my sisters (without our children!), or spending my afternoons alone in silence at home with a book, reality show or podcast nearby. It fills me up. It makes me who I am. It makes me such a better mom and wife when I dedicate this time for myself. And, you better believe I’d take a night out at the Bruno Mars concert with a best friend and a dirty martini by my side over a few extra hours of sleep – even at two weeks postpartum! I’m two weeks postpartum here (and Caitlin is 6 weeks) before the concert. I’m exhausted, my jeans still maternity, and my boobs full – I didn’t care. I needed a night out!
- Workouts: My favorite way to fill this priority is to combine it with any of the three above! Meeting a girlfriend for a workout, training along side my clients one day, or even going to a CrossFit class with George where there is childcare for the boys…all works for me! My workouts are top priority. But they don’t come before my family, my job or my friendships. It’s the balance I keep in my lifestyle that allows this to be at the bottom of my priority list. Below is a list of how I sneak mental health, physical health and emotional health all into my days, so if I miss that workout, it’s no biggy because I’ve been taking care of myself throughout entire day.
My Tips + Tricks to a Well-Rounded Day
- Doing as much the night before to prepare for my mornings ahead. My motto “The Molly at 4:30am will thank you for doing this. JUST DO IT.”
- Doctoring up my coffee. It makes me happy (Mental health bonus!) when I add my flavored creamer (yup!) and scoops of Vitals Protein in to start my day off with protein and caffeine – you know, the essentials.
- When I’m in my working hours, I only focus on work. That means, if I’m not in a session with my clients, I am listening to a Podcast at home or on my drives that will help me build my business, teach me a new marketing strategies, help me manage my money etc. I’m never not learning or working during these hours. Multitasking is key.
- I allow myself a lunch break. A true hour to do whatever I want. Then It’s back to work. On Mondays + Wednesdays, I eat alone (Priority Point!) at Chipotle. Otherwise during my break, I scroll social media, I listen to a fun podcast, or I watch a show I want to catch up on – this is the only time during the week I watch a show, if at all.
- If I have a spare half hour, I walk outside or on the treadmill at an incline while I post a social media post for work or respond to emails.
- I have a fridge packed full of ready to go foods for the week. Sundays, we shop and prepare ourselves for the business of the week. Everyone wins. Meals aren’t stressful and there are plenty of snacks ready to go so we aren’t reaching for shittier options….all the time 😉
- I always check to see who’s birthday it is on Facebook that day. I know it’s so old school, but it helps me feel connected to friends I may not talk to often. It’s such a nice way to reach out and let them know I’m fills me up to do that simple act of kindness.
- Sunday’s I deep clean one room of the house. It helps me stay on top of the house and not overwhelmed and spending one full day deep cleaning.
- During bath nights for the boys, I clean my bathrooms. I’m already in there, so I get to work and multi-task. Which means, two – three nights a week, my bathroom gets deep cleaned. With three boys in the house, it’s a MUST.
- I hire help. There are many hours throughout the week that I’m not at work, but my kids are at daycare. In these hours, I’m either getting my own workouts in, I’m taking an hour to myself for my eye lash fills, or I’m running an errands.
- I hire even more help! I hired an employee, Brian. So, my business can keep growing, but I’m not sacrificing time with my #1 priority, my family. This allows me to be home, help with pick up, make dinner and put my kids to bed three nights a week while my business keeps running and growing.
- And then, I hire even MORE help! I just hired my incredible Virtual Assistant, Katie, last month. Life. Saver. She helps me with tasks I don’t want to do, or ones I’m not good at and that took up too much mental space in my mind. She’s amazing and her eye for social media strategy, sales and marketing is beyond my talent. I realized the importance of staying in my own lane and my lane is with my clients in the gym. The rest, I’ve got my side-kick to help me out with!
- Pizza on Fridays. Roasts on Saturdays. Soups on Sundays. I like following a routine with my meal planning. It makes it so. much. easier. to plan out our weekly meals and we are creating family traditions and rituals around these meals.
- Join a book club (or any club!). As adults, it’s easy to get stuck in our own routines. We begin to feel bored with our lives and life is anything but boring SO, I joined a book club last month. It checks off my desire to read more, it keeps me from wasting (even more) time on my phone, and I get to hang out with some girlfriends once a month.
- Find a workout I love. It helps to workout when I’m doing something I actually LIKE doing. If I’m not feeling motivated to workout, like during my pregnancy, I plan dates with friends to get me to the gym. Shop around, find something you like (Hi! Try me if you haven’t 😉 ), invest in your health and you will be sure to make it a priority.
- Tuesday night Dates. It’s not all year around, but every summer George and I commit to dates on Tuesdays. It breaks up the week, spices up the routine of life, and it shows one another that we makes our marriage a priority. We get to be Molly and George instead of Mom and Dad for a night a week.
- A salad a day. Pick a meal, any meal and make it a kick ass salad. You’ll check off your “greens” for the day and feel good about the rest of your choices if you’ve made at least one meal a good one.
- Spice up your water intake. If you aren’t hitting your H2O goals, mix it up. Add a lemon or cucumber and mint to your water, throw a sparkling water in there every now and then, I put an EmergenC packet in one water a day to add flavor and combat the cold and flu season that’s upon us.
Let me know some of your favorite ways to sneak some mind, body and soul into your days. I’d love to hear!
Have a healthy day,